Thank You Mr. Haar

The best kinds of parties, are the kind where you find yourself soberly among the company of your boyfriend, having an insightful conversation about life. Really. Enough of these redundant comedies supposedly modeled after high school life. Suburban homes overflowing with rowdy teenagers, with a seemingly endless amount of red cups at hand. Girls holding their friends' hair back before the front yard bushes, because the line for the bathroom was just too long. They don't know where the real story's at. It's on a rooftop balcony, with nothing but the the stars to see, and the bad beer to smell. Challenging each other's thoughts, hypothesizing about tomorrow. Laughing about how ridiculous we sound by repeatedly stating "how small we are", how "man created good and evil" and how "the greed among men has corrupted the world". There's comfort, and ideal sublimity. Then, of course, you can't help get pissed off at the douche bag who says "nice hair" when you come back down stairs. "I was sitting, talking on a fucking lawn chair asshole!"

And just like that the splendor evaporates. Time for a shot. It was lovely for the time being.

The rest of the weekend went by all too fast. It was a good one though. I just can't help but fear that that might be exactly what it's like for the next few months. Priceless hours that seem to become the past before they're even present. True: "time flies while you're having fun". But who knew we were supposed to take this to such heart? Yes, five months is a long time away, and it won't be all too far of a move. But still, the anticipation of heartbreak is a gnawing feeling. The inevitability is an elephant in the room.

On a lighter note, I have a confession. I actually learned something in my history class today. I know, right? I never thought this day would come. But anyway, in regards to the Great Depression of the 1930s, President Roosevelt stated that "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." I thought about this, but hesitated to raise my hand. The fact is while this may have been true at the time, the validity of the statement is not present in general terms. Of course all society had to fear at the time was fear itself, because they had already hit rock bottom. But what if you haven't hit rock bottom? What if you have so much to lose? In that case, I think anyhow, there's more to fear than fear itself. There's the fear of losing what you love. Of losing who you love. Of losing everything that you've fought for and anyone you've fallen for. Not only has this "greed" instilled among men caused us to create corruption in the world, it's caused us to create fear among ourselves.


So, maybe I'm just a victim of this greed myself. Maybe I just need to learn to cherish the time of splendor we can share, because sooner or later some asshole is always gonna say "nice hair" in some way, shape or form. The moral of the story is, one without fear is without greed, because it's only then that you "ain't got nothing to lose."